May 19 2008
From Doug: Why?
Today…I am “retired”…
Now What? The Rest of my Life?
After 60 years of life. After 42 years of employment. After 40 years of parenting. After all….
After all this…what do I have left to do?
If I divide my life into thirds, roughly, I will have spent 30 years educating myself (and working), 30 years raising children (and working), and ….what of the rest? If I live 30 more years–I am now 60–how will I spend them…how will I define them?
How will I define myself?
In fact, if I attempt to define the first 60 years, I find myself describing my life in terms of other people…parents, siblings, teachers, spouses and children, employers, supervisors, and subordinates. I exclude friends because I have virtually no friends that are not included in the above categories.
When do we make friends for ourselves…to meet our own expectations for friendship…to meet our own needs for affiliation (rather than the needs dictated by our employment or familial relationships). Is this part of the process we now embark upon during the ”retirement” years?
So I am now “retired.” I’m not sure what to expect. I’m not comfortable with the terminology or the traditional roles and expectations attached to “retirement.”
I have a lot of exploring to do; introspection and contemplation and reflection and… and all those other concepts that I have been told I will now “have time for.”
I don’t want to be ”gimmicky.” (Unless you consider my liberal use of quotation marks.) I do want to be thoughtful. I do feel a strong urge to “leave something for posterity” (quotes again). If I endeavor to write my life’s story and leave it for my children and grandchildren I would like to have it be readable and interesting enough that they won’t feel obligated.
This blog is not my memoir, but rather an examination of the struggles, obstacles and issues I encounter as I enter my retirement years. I engage this phase of my life with the same enthusiasm and energy that I brought to my “career,” and with a lot more confidence than I brought to my “parenting” years.
I have written for you as well as for myself. I found Five Unpleasant Surprises, plus Five Challenges of Retirement. My wife encouraged me to find some Joy in all this, so I have described EIGHT Joys of Retirement. Most recently, (June 2008) I am writing about some “Dangers” here in retirement, and will soon include some “Fears of Retirement.”
I hope that I don’t sound like a broken record, nor that I become so obsolete as the 45 rpm single. (Hmmm…that sounds like one of my “fears.”)
I hope you enjoy.
You describe the joys and pitfalls of retirement so perfectly. My thoughts, but being unable to write, your words exactly!
Look forward to more, Dorelle
Thanks for the Comments, Mom and HoppyLady! I really appreciate your thoughts. If you want to help me in attracting new readers, just pass along the http of this site to all your friends!
What is retirement? How do I fit into the role of a retiree? What the hell is a retiree and could I really be one? All excellent questions that I personally choose to ignore for the moment. Not to say that I haven’t toyed with concept of ‘me’ being a retiree. Actually, I did dip my toe into the water for a short period of time. Faint attempt though for I stayed tethered to the world of work as a hired gun consultant to a Department of Defense organization that included a couple of fellas that I worked with as peers for five years. I had this fantasy that I would work from home (which, I did) and not be encumbered by the politics and leg sniffing that goes with life in a bureaucracy. I was somewhat surprised to learn that I missed more of the office environment person to person interaction than I ever conceived possible. I thought I hated being the referee in Johnny’s and Sally’s, “He doesn’t respect my contributions” squabbles. Working at home it was just me and the internet and an occasional phone call. I almost tingled with anticipation at the mere mention of having to drive to DC to attend another mind numbing Pentagon meeting in my consultant cloak. I discovered that I missed hearing stupid naive comments in the Men’s bathroom like, “I think we’re really making a difference here!”
I discovered I needed more of this dribble! So I came back to work full time. Does that mean I prefer ‘dribble’ to retired life? Perhaps. However, I like to think of myself as having been cleansed of “the need to succeed” and reborn as a UVOM (unvarnished opinion man) during that flirtatious dance with retirement.
Perhaps you (Doug) can use the above to illustrate “fear” of retirement. As a UVOM I can opine that what you just read reveals a man who is afraid of retirement because he finds comfort in the world of office nonsense and can’t find the same ’satisfying’ level of personal entertainment working part-time and, God forbid, as a full fledged retiree.
Thanks for the great contribution, Paul. I agree that the restroom dribble was entertaining, but then the ladies kicked me out.
I read your journal entry on AARP and decided to see what you have to say about “retirement.” I will be retiring August 31st 2008, I don’t think I am ready to leave but my heart and health think it is time to move onto some thing else. I truly want to be FREE on another level. I want to be able to do more things that I have been dreaming about for years. Mainly, to do what ever within my time frame. Whatever that means. But, I would like to watch your progress in this new area of life.
Wow, it’s sites like these that actually give me something to look forward to……I just turned 40 and well, u “know” what that means to a woman…LOL…
Thanks for your sincerity and encouragement….
H.I.T.s Mom
www.heavenandhellatonce.today.com
Hi Doug. I just happened onto your blog while exploring for examples of how people ‘do’ this blogging stuff. My #1 granddaughter (a web techie) is urging me get into the blogging scene and I’ve been poking around to see what it’s all about. I like the way you’ve put your material together … interesting and readable. Keep up the good work.
Hi Doug~
I have enjoyed reading your blogs so much, I wanted to let you know that you are included in my “Blogs that Rock” post today. I am doing a weekly post highlighting various blogs that i think deserve a closer look. The link to my post is below, I hope you enjoy it.
http://mysignsoflife.today.com/2008/10/26/blogs-that-rock-week-2/
Sincerely,
Monica Borden