Grugger’s Way

Whether or not it seems intentional to our families, in retired life we often seem aloof, far removed from the daily lives of other family members.  Why?

I think as we get older we do change.  For one thing, I have less patience for annoyances than I did when I was actually raising little kids.  Haven’t you even been in a grocery store and wondered WHY that parent doesn’t control the crying and yelling child?  Do you wonder if the parent doesn’t even HEAR that child?  

I’ve been there.  I was a single parent for 15 years.    Now, my tolerance for certain things is WAY LOWER.

Another thing that bothers me are dogs that jump up on me.  Not even do I blame the dogs as I blame owners who pay no attention, provide no discipline.  So I get bad reactions when I yell at someone else’s pet.

I also tend to be happiest at home.  To the consternation of my adult children who seem to be traveling around all the time, going out to shows or concerts, ALWAYS having to find something to ENTERTAIN themselves and THE CHILDREN, I am quite content to remain at home now.  I don’t travel cross-country.  I did that when I was their age.  I don’t fly around the World.  I did that when I was in the Navy.  I don’t go on cruises. (ditto the Navy years).  

I avoid movie theaters when there are new openings that attract a lot of people (especially KIDS).  I avoid restaurants that cater to families (meaning kids), and ABSOLUTELY never go to such places (or ANY PLACE) when they are advertising “family day” or “kid’s day.”   I hate going to the circus or carnival or the State Fair! 

I am VERY conscious about sanitation and hand-washing and avoiding germs, viruses, and public restrooms; that in itself is a good enough reason for me to avoid public places and children.

Some might think I am a crazy old man, stubborn, or ornery; I have heard “grumpy” of course.   In actuality, I am very happy in my quiet, and peaceful, home.  It is my “refuge” from the World that I had to live in for so many years of work and raising a family.   I don’t resent OR regret any of those years, they were wonderful.  

It is simply that I am tired now and feel like these remaining years are for me. 

I’ve wondered about what keeps some people going for so long.

Not just that they live for a long time, but that they remain productive and creative and active.

Here we have Clint Eastwood, age 78, not just being nominated for his work as a film director, but for song writing and scoring a movie.  I believe he is really a genius, not that this has been overlooked, but that he seems to be getting better with age. No one talks about his “retirement.”

Another is Dustin Hoffman.  Not as old as Eastwood, but still powerful enough in Hollywood to obtain Leading Man roles in major films and make them successful.

Both Eastwood and Hoffman are powerful figures, creative and  productive.

Then there is Lance Armstrong, for so many years the most powerful figure in bike racing.  His retirement was painful to watch.  What a disaster!  He was so unhappy.  So now, at age 37, he decides he wants to race again.  Most recently, in the 2009 Tour of California, he put up respectable times and placement, racing in support of one of his former Tour de France team, Levi Leipheimer, who won the Tour of California.   Lance wants to be active in his sport; and whether or not he ever ascends to his former greatness doesn’t matter.  If he is happy, then he should race.

Three men, different ages, still doing what they love.  Whether it is power or productivity or creativity or just good genes, I believe personal fulfillment has a lot to do with maintaining one’s purpose and interest in life.  I applaud all three and look to them as inspiration.

I’ve recently joined the ranks of those for whom a SHINGLES VACCINE is recommended. 

People who have had chicken pox sometime during their lives are susceptible to Shingles, a painful affliction that can affect anyone, at any age, but is particularly prevalent in people over sixty years old.  

So I received my vaccination.  So what else do I need to think about as I get older?

My discussion with my physician indicated that I should be sure to maintain my “tetanus” booster every ten years.  I just received a booster last year.  I’m good.

She also suggested that I get the flu vaccine every year, about November or so.  This I have completed the past three years, with no side effects and, most importantly, no flu.  I’m normally pretty heathy anyway, and I am a hand-washer, and there are very few contacts with children any more, so I have avoided the flu and colds for the past few years.

As we age our immune systems do tend to become less effective.  That makes us more susceptible to pneumonia too, particularly if we are hospitalized for some other condition, or even if we have a cold or flu at home.  Pneumonia kills a surprising number of older folks every year, and it is frequently not the primary disease or affliction that the victim was being treated for; it was the weakened condition of the immune system due to the primary affliction that allowed the pneumonia to take hold, or so I have read.

The pneumonia vaccine should be given to people who are most susceptible: those who have problems with their heart, lungs, liver, or kidneys.  

So, a pneumonia vaccine after I turn age 65, and that should be good.  If a person has received a pneumonia vaccine before age 65, then one additional shot might be recommended at some point after age 65. 

Remember I am just an ordinary person, not a doctor, so I depend upon what I am told or what I read.  Be sure to always obtain competent medical assistance and advice for any disease or affliction.

Agoraphobia, the fear of being out in public, away from familiar surroundings, or in situations where we feel a lack of control over our environment, is about the only phobia that develops for first time during elderly years, other phobias noted amongst the elderly have normally developed long before reaching “elder” status.   

Treatment for agoraphobia can be problem, not because older folks are not willing to be treated, but because of medical complications with the most common treatment, Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI) and how they interact with other medications commonly taken in one’s later years as antiarrhythmics (like Rythmol and Tambocor), beta blockers (like Toprol and Inderal) or antipsychotics and other antidepressants.  SSRI’s can also impair liver function.  Additionally, there is a long list of general side effects, some of which many of us would think are worse than the agoraphobia.

Diagnosing agoraphobia amongst the elderly can be difficult because they sometimes take medications that can cause the same behavior or suffer from any number of physical problems that might appear to have the same symptoms.

Another problem is cost.  There are many of us in our later years who just can’t afford counseling and other treatments for agoraphobia, which can be exacerbated by adult offspring who often feel the condition is just a normal part of aging and therefore doesn’t require, or merit, treatment at great cost.

It is also important to remember that legitimate fears are not phobias, e.g., fear of falling and not being able to get up or to obtain help is a legitimate fear that could limit a person’s willingness to be outside of the protected confines of the personal home.

While agoraphobia in younger people is often associated with panic attacks, and the fear of having a panic attack in a public place, when agoraphobia develops in older people it frequently develops out of other fears that get out of control.  Older people realize that their reflexes are slower, their hearing and vision are reduced, and their bones are more brittle.  Taking normal precautions is a proper reaction to the fear of having accidents. When things get out of control and a person becomes nearly immobile, or confined to the home, means that normal fears may have progressed beyond the point of control.

The only way to properly diagnose and treat agoraphobia is to consult with a mental health professional.  Never take a drug that is helping someone else. Everyone’s needs and physiological makeup are unique.

One other note:  Although agoraphobia is more common among women than men, no purely scientific evidence has emerged to explain the difference.  Social and cultural behavioral differences and expectations between the genders have been offered as possible reasons.  

PLEASE NOTE:  THIS BLOG OFFERS THE OPINIONS OF THE AUTHOR ONLY AND DOES NOT PROVIDE PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE.  ALWAYS SEEK COMPETENT MEDICAL ASSISTANCE FOR ANY AFFLICTION.