Grugger’s Way

Before I retired two years ago, I never even thought about the word FAILURE applying to retirement.

First, we fail when we forget about diet and exercise and the aging process begins to accelerate and we gain weight, lose muscle tone and generally let ourselves believe that it is inevitable and we can’t do anything about it.

Second, we fail ourselves when we become accustomed to “doing nothing” and by that I mean sitting around watching television during the day, having a beer (or two) with lunch, not getting dressed or taking a shower until late in the afternoon, if at all. You might be able to come up with some of your own examples.

Third, we fail our families when we allow ourselves to become so self-centered, so detached from the adult children and grandchildren that they hardly hear from us or see us anymore. Just at the time when we should have MORE time for family, we often become more remote to them.

Fourth, we fail ourselves when we let our bills pile up or we begin to spend money that we really don’t have. We are setting ourselves up for financial failure that we could avoid with a little good judgment.

I see some of these failures beginning to occur in my life and I have ONLY been retired for two years. Time to recognize that I can do something to turn this around before it is too late.

I realized there was some fear of failure when I blogged nearly a year ago about failure being a retirement danger, so I see that it only took me a year to know that there were dangers to be aware of. Here is a link to that earlier post:

Click on the “Archive” image above or you can click on this text link: “Retirement Fear SIX - Failure“

There are so many “parts” of us that “wear out” as we get older:  our backs, our feet, our hearing and vision, balance and sense of smell.
And this “wearing out” process seems to accelerate. I think my biggest task or challenge is to SLOW down the aging process.  I do this partly by paying more attention to details and thus avoiding those accidents that put might put me flat on my back in the hospital.

I do have a couple of suggestions:

• Be careful when we lift or carry something, when we step up or step down, when we twist or turn.
• Remember to ask for help sometimes.  Especially for the heavy lifting.
• Don’t try to do everything around the house in one day.  I’m retired now.  I can wait and do some tomorrow.

How many of us have seen our older friends or parents take a fall or otherwise have an accident that puts them into a hospital bed?  That is the WORST place to be if you are trying to slow down the aging process.  Many older people express great fear of going into the hospital because they are afraid they will never get out.  Certainly that is a risk.  In the hospital patients have no control any more.  And a long term patient just wastes away.  No sunlight, no exercise, little contact with relatives and friends. The lack of normal activities and routine is disruptive to any person’s life, but is especially so for older folks.

The solution, at least in part, is to avoid the accidents and the diseases that put us in the hospital. 

Keep active, physically and mentally.  Be aware of our surroundings and watch for things that are out of place.  Don’t try to go up and down stairs without a handrail and without turning on the light.  Watch out for those pets that can be underfoot.  Always know exactly where that little kitty or puppy or grandchild is before you step or turn.
Yup.  Getting old is no easy task.  It is a challenge, just like the other challenges we have faced during our lives.

This one is the most important of all.

BALANCE means more to me now that I am older (62 years old today, by the way).

Balance has always been important in my life, and probably in yours too:  keeping some separation between the workplace and the home, between work time and personal time, between working relationships and personal relationships, between work-week and week-end.

Balance also symbolizes my ability to keep perspective in life.  Not too much work, alcohol, drugs, food, sex.  Not too much sleep or television.  Not too much rowdy playing with dogs and grandchildren either.

Balance is also equilibrium in our orientation toward good ol’ gravity!  This is an area we don’t want to neglect either.   I have heard so many horror stories of older people falling down in their garage or bathroom and being on the floor for a couple of days before someone checked in on them.  There are a couple of safeguards that we should at least be aware of for “older” friends and family, if not for ourselves–yet.

There is the lifeline bracelet and emergency alert buttons.  There is the daily phone call to check up on a friend or relative, or a daily visit to someone who lives alone.  For those who qualify, there are social service agencies that will pay daily visits to help with daily needs.  My own Father was discovered unconscious by the Meals on Wheels delivery person.  It pays to plan ahead, rather than have later regrets.

Balance personal freedom against personal safety.  We all have to decide.  Sometimes we have to decide for others.

There are 26 million people in this World with Alzheimer’s disease.

While there is good news on lower rates of chronic respiratory disease like bronchitis and emphysema, and a recent drop in strokes, and heart disease and diabetes deaths have fallen by five percent in recent years, this also means that more of us are living longer.  The bad news about “living longer” is that more of us will be afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease; it is now the sixth leading cause of death in the United States.

Those 26 million Alzheimer patients are expected to become over 100 million in the next forty years.  That is the prediction from researchers at Johns Hopkins University.  (There are a great number of links to resources at the Johns Hopkins Research Center website.)

But the problems of Alzheimer’s not only affects the stricken, it also affects their families.  Family caregivers often face many years…even decades…of taking care of their aging spouses, parents and grandparents, while painfully watching them slowly deteriorate.  One of the worst aspects of Alzheimer’s is that the mental affliction is so deceptive, as the physical body often remains fit and vibrant.  It often takes several minutes of conversation for a stranger to realize that all is not well with an Alzheimer patient.

The decision to move a loved one to a facility, a “locked-down” facility, is a terrible decision to have to make.  That decision often follows years and years of exhaustive caregiving, sometimes with little or no respite for the caregiver. Eventually, most Alzheimer patients do require 24 hour institutionalized care.  Most of them do okay there.

My own experiences during several visits to an Alzheimer’s care facility were heart-wrenching, and I was amazed by the dedicated staff who work and care for the patients.

Also heart-wrenching is to witness the TOLL that caregiving imposes on a family.  My sympathy goes out to them too.  Families often face major financial drain and internal conflicts. Survival of CAREGIVERS and FAMILIES depends on their ability to adapt and to seek and accept help from others.  There are resources available and I am providing links to some of them here:

The National Alliance for Caregiving

The National Family Caregivers Association

Alzheimer’s Association