Grugger’s Way

Yesterday, I found myself telling a former co-worker that I am bored now, and beginning to think about a part-time job.

When I thought about it some more I realized that I am not bored. That’s not the correct word. I am simply living in a rut.

Unlike when I was an employee and someone was Paying me while I worked on a boring project, I am now free to schedule my own time and I can’t justify (or blame someone else) for being in a rut.

I follow virtually the same routine each day–house chores–house pets–paperwork to attend to, and then…sitting here at the computer until noon.

Afternoons are for working outside or in the garage on special projects, and then, more often than not, a trip to town to run errands. That trip takes about two hours.

Once home again, the routine kicks in, with pet needs, other chores, preps for dinner, checking in by phone with other family and friends, then dinner with the wife when she arrives and three hours or so of television, often ending with both of us falling asleep in front of the TV, (like I am exhausted from all the work).

Perhaps this experience should be teaching me something about routine: it is how we measure our days, find some discipline in the otherwise unstructured and unscheduled lifestyle that is retired life.

I realize that a part-time job would detract from the variety of activities that we look forward to as springtime arrives. Most part-time jobs involve working evenings and on weekends. Spring and summer are our times for getting out in the Montana wilderness and enjoying our free time. Fishing and camping and day trips are planned for almost every weekend. A part time job would deprive me of the time my wife can spend with me.

Her full-time job is what enables me to remain retired, so I need to ensure that her free time is my free time too.

Whether or not it seems intentional to our families, in retired life we often seem aloof, far removed from the daily lives of other family members.  Why?

I think as we get older we do change.  For one thing, I have less patience for annoyances than I did when I was actually raising little kids.  Haven’t you even been in a grocery store and wondered WHY that parent doesn’t control the crying and yelling child?  Do you wonder if the parent doesn’t even HEAR that child?  

I’ve been there.  I was a single parent for 15 years.    Now, my tolerance for certain things is WAY LOWER.

Another thing that bothers me are dogs that jump up on me.  Not even do I blame the dogs as I blame owners who pay no attention, provide no discipline.  So I get bad reactions when I yell at someone else’s pet.

I also tend to be happiest at home.  To the consternation of my adult children who seem to be traveling around all the time, going out to shows or concerts, ALWAYS having to find something to ENTERTAIN themselves and THE CHILDREN, I am quite content to remain at home now.  I don’t travel cross-country.  I did that when I was their age.  I don’t fly around the World.  I did that when I was in the Navy.  I don’t go on cruises. (ditto the Navy years).  

I avoid movie theaters when there are new openings that attract a lot of people (especially KIDS).  I avoid restaurants that cater to families (meaning kids), and ABSOLUTELY never go to such places (or ANY PLACE) when they are advertising “family day” or “kid’s day.”   I hate going to the circus or carnival or the State Fair! 

I am VERY conscious about sanitation and hand-washing and avoiding germs, viruses, and public restrooms; that in itself is a good enough reason for me to avoid public places and children.

Some might think I am a crazy old man, stubborn, or ornery; I have heard “grumpy” of course.   In actuality, I am very happy in my quiet, and peaceful, home.  It is my “refuge” from the World that I had to live in for so many years of work and raising a family.   I don’t resent OR regret any of those years, they were wonderful.  

It is simply that I am tired now and feel like these remaining years are for me. 

Although I’ve now been “retired” for two years, I feel like the “retired” lifestyle is just now becoming comfortable to me.

Every time I drive into town I realize how happy I am that I do not have to make that daily commute.

Every time I see a new business starting up and I feel the slightest “urge” to see if they need any help, I quickly SQUELCH that feeling with a reality check.

I am sixty-two years old, and I am not willing to work with 20-somethings on a daily basis.  What a relief it is to associate with people my own age, and, when I WANT to, I can hang out with the younger generation….if for no other reason than to remind myself that “I’ve been there…done that”  and really want no part of the working world again.

I know that I would still be a valued employee.  Employers tell me ALL THE TIME that my generation brings a completely different “work ethic” to the job, and they would welcome me back into the workforce ANYTIME!

I guess I enjoy the feeling that I might be able to contribute something, but the price seems too high.  I really enjoy my freedom now, and, for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, my time belongs to me!  I’ve always worked for someone else…mostly the government, and government agencies and supervisors act like they OWN you when you work for them.

This transition from “Working man” to “Retiree” has involved intellectual, emotional and physical changes.  Be prepared to deal with all three when you are ready to “hang up your hat” or whatever expression suits your occupation.

I didn’t just forget about my office immediately; there were some months while I continued to keep in touch with the staff and discuss projects that I had been working on.  I read quite a bit about the transition to retirement and I expected the WORST!  Although I admit that my mental state and emotions were at times confused, directionless, and undisciplined, I enjoyed the break from work.  For quite a few months I just felt like I was on an extended vacation and that I would be returning to the office.

During the first year I alternated between SURGES OF ENERGY with no outlet, to physical EXHAUSTION, numerous aches and pains, real and imagined, and lack of ambition.   Whew!  I’m glad I realized that lack of ambition is not a crime when you are retired!   On my WORST days, which were few and far between, I did feel worthless, useless, unwanted and totally without any remaining purpose in living.   That sounds like a guy in his 80’s, not 60, and those feelings never lasted for long.  I enjoy life too much, and I found that GETTING OUTSIDE and breathing REAL AIR, worked wonders for my moods.

I am now two years removed from the workplace.  No longer at a loss for energy, intellectual or physical, and with plenty of outlets for both,  I do love retired life!

It’s NEVER too late to “Get Crafty.”

As I relax a little more and get used to being “retired,” I begin to seek out new forms of expression.  This blog is one form, of course, but I also have newly-found enjoyment in tinkering around the house as a “Mr. Fixit Man” and have also begun to spruce up the yard and house and find that to be very satisfying.

Out in the garage I have begun the process of insulation and dry wall that will eventually make that space more comfortable for the dogs when we have to leave them alone during the winter.   I made them a “dog bed” that fits within their fenced enclosure in the garage.  It is made out of a four by eight foot sheet of plywood with carpeting on top.  Under the plywood I placed insulating foam “blue board” which is two inches thick and will keep the cold concrete from penetrating to the surface.  The entire contraption is framed by 2×4’s and that not only holds it all together, but it prevents the dogs from chewing on the insulation.  The carpeting is held in place with quarter-round moulding all around, thus preventing the carpet edge from unraveling or giving the dogs something to rip apart.

I am thinking of trying to build some birdhouses next.  That is something that I remember seeing older guys doing, so I am going to find out if it is really satisfying (or not).  My Grandfather was a big birdhouse builder out in North Dakota. Not only was his yard full of birdhouses, but he had them hanging all over his workshop.  I think he got a little carried away with his hobby.  I could see myself doing the same thing, as I do with most projects. Perhaps I ought to just build planters.

And I notice that it always seems to take me at least TWICE as long to complete a project as I estimate.  Perhaps that has something to do with becoming “retired.”