Grugger’s Way

Many of the events that psychologists list as life-changing are also the most stressful. I have experienced many of those events and have survived them. Not without cost. I am still alive, but marriages have faltered and failed, relationships have been strained, confidences broken, careers re-directed, families asunder. I knew I hit rock bottom when the lives of others were affected by my actions in such a way that I felt they would all be better off without me.

I recognize many of the most stressful life events are made worse by addiction and dependency. Whether it is drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or a personality disorder, these outside influences make matters worse. People will argue that “if it wasn’t for my smokes, I would never have made it through this.” I think I will give people the benefit of the doubt. If they survive, they can credit anything they want to, but usually such a dependency becomes an excuse for failing, rather than a reason for succeeding.

If you have been here near the bottom, or what you think must be rock bottom, remember that we all have the power within ourselves to reach out and get help.

Whether it is a loss by death or divorce, a drastic change in circumstances by choice or imposed by others, we learn from our experiences. By the time we reach our sixties we have undoubtedly been required to draw from strengths deep within our psyche to even reach this age. There isn’t much that can seriously disrupt our sanity any more.

I chose “blogging” as a way to earn a few dollars from my writing. Writing novels didn’t pay. They just sit here on the hard drive. Oh, I sent one novel to my Mom and she printed it out–all 167 pages. I just don’t think it is ready for publication; perhaps I’m not really that creative when it comes to being a “novelist.”

So “blogging” it is. I have several blogs besides this one, and I write about politics, the 1960’s, photography, fitness, diet, other blogs and dogs.

At one time or another, I’ve run advertising from many of the popular sites. If you read a lot of blogs you know which sites I am speaking of. If you don’t read a lot of blogs, then–Google Adsense, Project Wonderful, CMF Ads, PepperJam, Adbrite, Text-Link-Ads, Widgetbucks, Share-a-Sale, Adgitize, and Amazon. I think that pretty much includes all that I have used. There are others. As you can see I have tried many; I have also cancelled many.

Some of these sites only pay if someone BUYS something after clicking on an advertisement. Some pay only if a someone “clicks” on an ad. Some pay just based on how many visitors to my sites see the ad. Some bloggers pay just to put a link on my site. I don’t see a lot of money from any of these. Nobody has ever purchased anything after clicking on an advertisement on my blogs that would trigger a commission payment to me. I wonder how many ordinary folks make any “real” money on blogs.

That’s why I say, “today I made another six dollars, maybe seven.” My wife just laughs at me. She asks how many HOURS I spent “working” on my blogs today in order to make the six or seven dollars. I say it comes out to maybe $1.75 per hour. “How wonderful,” she says, “you must be so excited about that.”

Ummm…so that makes me feel like an old geezer just being humored along. I think she hopes I will tire of blogging and go back to work in the real world. That doesn’t even sound like fun any more.