Mar 03 2009
Excluding Family from our little Retired Lives
Whether or not it seems intentional to our families, in retired life we often seem aloof, far removed from the daily lives of other family members. Why?
I think as we get older we do change. For one thing, I have less patience for annoyances than I did when I was actually raising little kids. Haven’t you even been in a grocery store and wondered WHY that parent doesn’t control the crying and yelling child? Do you wonder if the parent doesn’t even HEAR that child?
I’ve been there. I was a single parent for 15 years. Now, my tolerance for certain things is WAY LOWER.
Another thing that bothers me are dogs that jump up on me. Not even do I blame the dogs as I blame owners who pay no attention, provide no discipline. So I get bad reactions when I yell at someone else’s pet.
I also tend to be happiest at home. To the consternation of my adult children who seem to be traveling around all the time, going out to shows or concerts, ALWAYS having to find something to ENTERTAIN themselves and THE CHILDREN, I am quite content to remain at home now. I don’t travel cross-country. I did that when I was their age. I don’t fly around the World. I did that when I was in the Navy. I don’t go on cruises. (ditto the Navy years).
I avoid movie theaters when there are new openings that attract a lot of people (especially KIDS). I avoid restaurants that cater to families (meaning kids), and ABSOLUTELY never go to such places (or ANY PLACE) when they are advertising “family day” or “kid’s day.” I hate going to the circus or carnival or the State Fair!
I am VERY conscious about sanitation and hand-washing and avoiding germs, viruses, and public restrooms; that in itself is a good enough reason for me to avoid public places and children.
Some might think I am a crazy old man, stubborn, or ornery; I have heard “grumpy” of course. In actuality, I am very happy in my quiet, and peaceful, home. It is my “refuge” from the World that I had to live in for so many years of work and raising a family. I don’t resent OR regret any of those years, they were wonderful.
It is simply that I am tired now and feel like these remaining years are for me.
So true.Noise is a big factor for me.Whenever I go out,I simply can’t wait
to get home for the sheer bliss of silence! As for the “feral” kids whooping it up in the supermarket,to the apparent ignorance of their parents…..well,don’t get me started,it’s not good for my blood pressure.
My dad feels similar to you -
My sister gets really upset with my dad for feeling this way, and it has caused her to distance herself from him.
At first I sort of followed my sister’s thought process, and was annoyed at dad …
Then I really sat down and tried to see it through his eyes.
It really helped!
He has paid his dues, etc., just as you stated -
And he should be able to live the rest of his life as he sees fit.
The part I wish my sister could understand …
Is that just because he doesn’t want to come to every grandchild’s birthday party, doesn’t mean he loves us any less!
I know she says she won’t be that way when she gets older.
But I’m starting to realize …
Who knows how we will feel when we get older, because we just aren’t at that place yet.
Thanks for this piece-
It helped me to understand my favorite man in the world (my dad)
a little more!!!
Oh and don’t tell my hubby I said that …
dawn @ iowahippiechick