Nov 03 2008
Why Didn’t I Learn to Play a Musical Instrument?
Why Didn’t I Learn to Play a Musical Instrument?
The earliest instrument I can remember was the “violin-uke,” an instrument that was like a combination ukelele and violin. You “picked” the strings with one hand, while playing across the raised strings with a violin bow. 
These things were sold door-to-door for probably thirty years, from post-Great Depression through the 1950’s. My folks bought one about 1954. Nobody could play it. Nobody EVER played it. I wish I knew what happened to it.
The next instrument I recall is when a salesman come to the house back when I was in Third Grade. He was selling ACCORDIANS! Can you imagine how excited I was at the prospect of learning to play the accordian at age Nine? NOT!
The salesman showed me how to place my hands through the straps on each side and “pump” the thing open and closed. Then he had me put my fingers on the keys on one side and the little buttons on the other side. (I have no idea what the buttons were for.) Here I am, this little guy pumping the accordian and pushing all the keys and buttons, and the salesman says, “Wow. He is a natural! This kid will be on Lawrence Welk someday!” Nope. No money in the house for my little accordian! I don’t think I need to include a photo of the accordian, so famous in the oom-pah music of my ancestors.
In high school, I tried to plunk at a piano. Couldn’t figure out why there was SO MANY keys. All I remembered from elementary school was E-G-B-D-F and F-A-C-E. So why are there so many keys? (I missed a LOT of school that year.)
In the Navy, some guy sold me a little guitar for $15 dollars and I tried to learn to “chord” with a guy who actually played the guitar. So I could strum it and could change chords but I couldn’t tell when (or WHY) we changed chords from time to time. You see, I AM TONE DEAF! If you read yesterday’s post about not Learning a Foreign Language, you may get the idea. I can’t distinguish one note from another. I can’t hear the differences between sharp and flat and “pitchy.” (I have some idea what that means, after all, I watch American Idol and Randy Jackson.)
Not only am I tone deaf, I have crappy hearing in my left ear, too, and have a loss of “high-frequency” tones. Music has never been important to me, and now I know why. I just don’t understand it and I can’t hear the nuances. So where does that leave me?
DRUMS! Yes, I can play DRUMS! African Drums and bongo drums, djembe and ashiki and frame drums. Now I don’t claim to be any good, but I can BEAT the hell out of them.
Yesterday: Why Didn’t I Learn a Foreign Language?
Tomorrow: Why Didn’t I Write the Great American Novel?
