Grugger’s Way

“Why Didn’t I Marry My First Love?” is my first Post in the theme of “Why Didn’t I?”

As I mentioned yesterday (when I concluded the theme that I called “My First Time:”), in this new theme I will pose questions to myself about my life, roads not taken, paths not chosen, options not explored, or however one wants to look at life’s decisive moments that forever changed, or at least channeled, our directions.

So, Why Didn’t I Marry My First Love?  I was 20 years old and in the Navy, stationed in Texas.  She was descended from an American Indian and a Spanish conquistador.  Her name was Irene, and she was someone else’s girl friend.

Her “guy” was a boastful, swaggering, “stud” of a sailor that I found despicable.  When she became pregnant, he abandoned her.  I worked in the “Personnel Office.”  I “volunteered” him for Vietnam duty in response to the Navy’s urgent call for volunteers.  He had orders for Vietnam two weeks later. Justice.

I really liked her a lot.  We hung out during her pregnancy and we fell in love.  I did anyway, or thought I did.  I helped her with the baby and helped her with expenses.  She earned $5.00 a day at her waitressing job, plus perhaps a dollar in tips.  We talked about getting married. Then I received orders to leave and join a ship on its way to the Mediterranean Sea…for nine months!

We talked about a future together: she and the baby, and me, living up in Montana after I got out of the Navy, but that was still more than a year away.  I wrote my parents and suggested that she and I and the baby would be coming up to Montana during my transfer “vacation” and that I would go on to join my ship and she and the baby could stay with THEM, my parents, until I returned NINE months later.  Of course, we would get married while I was home.

My Dad sent me a letter. The first and only letter that he ever wrote to me.  He typed it one finger at a time, with the “important” parts in red ink. (Perhaps you will recall that typewriter ribbons sometimes were made with half black and the half red ribbon–back in those days.)

Almost needless to say, as if you couldn’t surmise what the “important” parts said: “DON’T YOU DARE BRING ANY %#*!&# WOMAN WITH A KID AROUND HERE!”    The really shocking part was the racial references he used regarding her and he told me that I had my head up my “you know what.” He told me not to bother coming home…ever…if I married her.

So.  Our plan died.  We figured we would just put off marriage until I got out of the Navy and could come back to Texas and get her.   You know that didn’t happen.  She found someone else; I found someone else.  Not right away of course, but over time…it was still young love.

Tomorrow:  Why Didn’t I Become an Astronaut?

Trackback URI | Comments RSS