Aug 30 2008
Making Friends with the Bathroom Scale
I am Trying to make Friends with the Bathroom Scale. I swear the thing has a personality and moods; it is probably female.
WHY can’t a scale give you a straight answer? WHY does a scale have to have its OWN WAY? And why does it take a month to lose five pounds and only one day to gain it back? Why does MY scale only GRUDGINGLY give up one-half pound at a time, but takes back five pounds all at once?
How does MY bathroom scale seem to “know” that I’ve been cheating on her?
How does MY bathroom scale manage to arouse nothing but GUILT feelings in me?
Does your bathroom scale laugh at you? Sneer? Josh? Become Spiteful and Take Revenge?
I want a new scale, but this one won’t leave me. I can’t have TWO scales because I would never know for certain just how much I weigh. That would be like a guy with two watches; he never knows what time it is. The TWO scales would almost certainly show different weights–just to show me where I’m Wrong! I’ve always suspected that appliances have minds of their own.
Like toasters and microwaves and dishwashers.
TOMORROW: CONQUERING THE HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE
