Grugger’s Way

MORTALITY TAKES SOME GETTING USED TO

I used to be immortal. Okay, like most 16-year-olds, I thought I was immortal. At least indestructible.  Now, I think maybe only the cockroach is indestructible.

First realization that I was not indestructible: When I broke both bones in my right arm during a judo throw gone bad. I realized that bad things could happen to me.

I don’t know when I first realized that life was an uphill struggle (or a downhill journey), maybe last year, when I turned Sixty.

So that is a joke? No, not really. If you are getting up there in years you understand what it feels like when the old bones and joints just don’t want to go where you used to go.

It takes some getting used to. I recall in my forties that it took me longer to stretch and warm up prior to a race. I reluctantly concede that it takes me longer to get going in the morning than when I was younger. I remember first noticing that I was losing yardage on my golf drives, even though I was swinging just as hard. That’s kind of a metaphor for everything else I’ve noticed as I aged. I am just happy now that I can still get going. I love that saying: “It takes me all night long to do what I used to do all night long.”

The most recent realization is that the process of slowing down is accelerating. That almost seems like a joke that the Creator has played on us all. The real challenge is to slow down this inevitable process of aging. I do what we can: exercise, diet, mindfulness.

I guess Life really is a game after all. With that realization comes acceptance. And by acceptance, I don’t mean “capitulation” which is to give up or admit defeat. This was never a game that we could win. In the end, we all lose, and life in the world goes on without us. More than anything else, it is how you “play” the game, how you participate in and enjoy the action “on the field,” the lasting impressions you leave with your team: family and friends, what you contribute to their “games” too.

Children have only a couple of essential emotional needs: to feel loved and to feel safe. That’s wonderful. A parent has done a good job if the child feels loved and secure until the age of “reason,” about age seven. Nothing bad could happen. I still want to believe that.

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