Jun 24 2008
Retired Life - Pressure and Stress
This Retired Life is new to me, and the Pressure and Stress that I have experienced are partly self-imposed, partly real and partly imaginary.
So the self-imposed portion is the Pressure and Stress I place upon myself to justify my early retirement. I do this by working harder than I ever did to keep busy around the house and yard. I am sometimes physically exhausted by the end of a day and really look forward to hearing the wife’s comments about what I have accomplished. Yes, I feel Pressure to “accomplish” something. I make extensive lists of projects that are in progress and others that need to be started. This past weekend we re-stained the deck out back, after I had spent two days sanding and stripping off the old stain and patching bad spots and re-screwing deck planks into place. My back was so sore I could hardly stand up any more, but I would not stop.
Mostly I seek the wife’s approval. If she doesn’t notice something that I “accomplished” I will point it out to her. It’s almost akin to a child seeking a parent’s approval. I am now officially in my second childhood, so it seems.
The real portion is of the Pressure and Stress is the physical effect that I notice. Upset stomach, headaches, the “impending doom” feeling. I physically “over-react” to any negative remarks or feedback from any member of my family, friends, or former co-workers with regards to my early retirement; the kind of remark that makes me feel guilty of doing something wrong. The ”it must be nice to lay around all day” remark is one that gets me upset.
The imaginary portion of the Pressure and Stress is impossible to identify because I am unable to discern the difference between what is self-imposed, what is real, and what is imaginary. It all feels the same, physically-mentally-emotionally, if you know what I mean.
I am told, and I believe, that the Pressure and Stress of being retired while most ALL of your family members, friends, and former co-workers are WORKING FOR A LIVING! will eventually fade away. For now, I will deal with it by being aware that it exists, by being aware that some of the problems I imagine are those that I create for myself, and by being confident that I will become more comfortable with retirement as time passes.
