May 25 2008
Retirement Surprise FIVE - Victimization
As Retirement Surprise Five - Victimization is probably a misnomer. It is the idea that somehow I make myself become a victim. This is very self-centered; very much “all about me.”
My wife loves to say that I make it all about me. And I hear it in various versions all the time on television as well. It goes something like this: “Why do you turn everything around so that everything I say always becomes all about you?”
You know what I’ve noticed? The only people who say that are women! And they are almost always saying it to their significant other: husband or boyfriend. I can’t recall ever seeing a guy say that to a woman. Is it because we are afraid to? Ha Ha. That’s probably true. But, could it be that women are correct in calling us out? Do men tend to turn a conversation around so we are the subject being discussed? I remember a woman once said to me: “Okay, that’s interesting. Let’s talk about ME now.” She had tired of listening to me talk about myself.
Have you ever watched couples out for lunch? I have. I estimate that at least NINETY percent of the talking is being done by the man while the woman listens and nods her head and says, “umm, wow, really, that’s so amazing,” etc. etc.”
What does this have to do with victimization as a retirement surprise? Well, sitting home alone I have no one to listen to me talk! I talk to the tv, to the computer, (occasionally to the dog) and no one is there to nod, say “umm, that’s so amazing,” etc. When my spouse comes home from working a very long day, she wants to talk. She wants me to listen attentively. But I WANT TO TALK! I’ve been home alone all day! Let’s talk about ME now!
I am pathetic. I am making it all about me. I am making like I am somehow a victim. I guess if I recognize this I am making progress, but how is that a benefit to Me? (Oops, there I go again.)
