Retired and Restless

I haven’t had a cigarette in 19 years, not since July 3rd, 1989.  I still do not say that I am a “non-smoker,” I just haven’t smoked one since July 3rd, 1989.  What finally prompted me was when I nearly passed out from a lack of breath after walking about one block!

That was not the first time I stopped smoking.  Nine years earlier I had stopped and I was smoke-free for two years.  I began smoking again while my wife was in labor with our last child, and I was 6,000 miles away, on a Navy ship.  It was to be three more months before I returned home.  By that time I was borrowing three or four smokes a day from my shipmates.  One sailor told me that he didn’t care if I smoked or not, but if I were going to stop smoking, I should do it by smoking someone ELSE’s, not his.  (Ha Ha.  That guy is still a friend of mine and still in the Navy; a Master Chief Petty Officer now.  I don’t know if he still smokes)

I bought one pack that day.  And, when it was gone, I bought one more.  I continued to buy just one pack at a time…for NINE YEARS!

I started smoking as a 13-year-old.  I would sneak a pack of Camels out of my Father’s carton.  My schoolwork went downhill, I played hooky, I smoked.  My Father lifted me off my feet by grabbing me around the neck and held me up against the wall.  He told me that I was going to get my act together NOW and get my ass to school and STOP SMOKING!  His final threat was that he would nail a “spike” through my hands and “nail me up to the wall” like “Christ hanging on the cross.”  Ya.  I was in seventh grade and I believed him and I quit smoking.  Until high school.   My Senior year, in fact, and then I went into the Navy and EVERYBODY smoked.  During boot camp, and afterward as well, the Navy slogan seemed to be “smoke’m if you got’m.”  There was an ash tray the size of a dinner plate on every Navy desk.  I recall cleaning everyone’s ash trays at the end of the day, when I was a lowly Seaman, and every ash tray was full of butts.

Oh, I tried to quit several times…once it became fashionable.  Girl friends rarely smoked and with one exception, they always pushed me to quit.  I once counted the number of times that I could remember quitting…about ten.  Always I tried but… (Wow, I wonder how many times I have said that…”I tried, but….)

So now it has been nineteen years.  During those years I became physically active and healthy and even ran in a 26-mile marathon. But…when I watch old movies where the hero smokes…yes, the heroes used to be “cool” and nearly always smoked in the movies…I feel that old craving again–that monster.  When the World War Two movies are shown late at night, I see the soldiers hunkered down and sharing a smoke, I feel that old craving again.

Oh, yes. There is no doubt that nicotine is addictive. And smoking is addictive. In fact, I personally believe it is the most difficult habit to break.    I still don’t call myself a “non-smoker.”  In fact, I think if I were to have one today…it would feel just as good and I would enjoy it just as much as the last one I smoked…on July 3rd, 1989.

Yes, we are getting older, and by now we should have learned:

To Listen. This means keeping eye contact and don’t interrupt. Don’t be thinking of the next thing You are going to say.

To Laugh. And Laugh without limits. What a great slogan, perhaps for a blog. Laughter without Limits.

To be pleasant. Just presenting a nice pleasant disposition upon first impression will give the other person time to appreciate your true self.

To Give a Sincere Compliment. Doesn’t have to be extravagant or eloquent; just sincere.

To Do something without expecting something in return. This is selflessness. And it takes some of us a lifetime to learn.

To Be Affectionate. Not sexual. Not even sensual. Just freely giving of ourselves when it is welcome. Doesn’t even have to be a hug or kiss, just a tap of the arm or shoulder and a nod. We get it.

To be comfortable in our own company. There is a Big difference between being lonely and being alone. Just enjoy a little “me” time in solitude. Also remember to allow others to enjoy their own alone time too.

To Write to our friends. Still the best way to make a lasting contact. Phone calls are very personal, that’s true, but a written note can be saved forever and read over and over again.

I hope you have a great day!

Doug with beard

Eventually, we ALL reach the age when people begin to talk about us behind our backs; and what they often say is that we are “past our prime” or “over the hill.”

Nowhere is this more evident than in the entertainment industry, where some people just don’t know when to quit. I have a few nominees in need of Urgent Retirement.

Among the most noticeably “overdue” for retirement (with year of birth) are Andy Rooney (b. 1919), Wayne Newton (b. 1942), Kenny Rogers (b. 1938), Burt Reynolds (b. 1936), Paul Harvey(b. 1918), and, sorry to say, but over-the-hill already, Michael Jackson (b. 1958).

And not all “overdue for retirement” celebs are men. These Geezinees deserve a mention too:

Recognizable to most of us, are Barbara Walters (b. 1929 , Cher (b. 1946), Dolly Parton (b. 1946), and Joan Rivers (b. 1933). These photos are all from 2006 and 2007, and quite obviously, not the most flattering photographs of any of them.

So, will it be said of us that we  “over stayed our welcome”?  Not me.  I, for one, think that when it came to my job or my dignity, I hung up my gloves at the right time. 

RETIRED AND RESTLESS isn’t just a slogan or tag line for my blog; it’s my life now.  And frankly, the “Restless” part is becoming more prominent as summer is quickly passing.

And it’s not just this summer; it’s ANOTHER summer!  Yes, another year gone by.  For some reason, and maybe this is a holdover from childhood, my “years” seems to end when the new school year begins. 

THE ENDLESS URGE TO “GET AWAY” FROM IT ALL

Anyway, summer is nearly over and about the only good thing I can say about that is the tourist traffic will soon be off the roads and out of the campgrounds.

I made so many plans for summer and accomplished so little.  Maybe because it takes me so much longer to accomplish anything these days.  I always feel like I could, or should, be doing more.  Yet, whenever I really get enthused and get after a project I seem to overdue it, overexert myself, and end up injured in some manner that I am slowed down for a week or two.

I really wanted to get in some serious flyfishing this summer, but I haven’t been able to get away and hit my favorite spots.  I really get mixed feelings about the “desire” to get away and the “need” to get away.  There is some guilt here because my spouse is working a full-time job and I am retired.  I could go without her, but how to justify that…. Besides, I enjoy her company and would really prefer to be fishing and camping with her…not anyone else…and not alone.   Getting away when I already live in the mountains, is kind of a relative term…just cabin fever I think…just the feeling that life is passing me by while I sit here at the computer.

And there is the truth of it.  I am still sitting here at the computer.

Morning Aches and Pains are becoming a real “pain” in the you-know-what.

Three days ago I worked outside in 99 degree heat for about four hours just patching knotholes and splits in cedar wood decking.  After applying the patching putty, I had to sand it and then paint it.  There were over 100 patches!  The deck is 15 years old and has been painted about four times.  The cedar decking is really showing its age.  Speaking of “showing its age,” my lower back is so sore today that I am wearing one of those stretchy wrap-around support thingy’s (thingies?).  I am using cold packs and then a heating pad, but I have to tell you, the deck patching will NOT be repeated again…ever!  If that artifical deck planking, Trex or whatever, wasn’t so expensive, we would have replaced the deck by now. 

I felt fine after the deck patching job was complete–really satisfied–even had a beer to celebrate.  The next day, I mowed the lawn.  About 10 percent of the yard is inside a fence for the dogs, so it is too confined for the riding mower, and I used a front-wheel drive walk-behind mower.  There was also quite a bit of “weed-whacking” to do, and holding out the weed-whacker puts some strain on the lower back too.  Yesterday, I did some digging to repair a sprinkler head that needed to be replaced and moved it about a foot over so it wouldn’t be soaking my recent deck extension.  Anyway, more stress on the lower back.  I first noticed the pain last night.  Today it is much worse.  I can’t sit in one position very long or I can hardly get up.  What really irks me is that I am also wearing a knee brace, again, one of those stretchy wrap-around things.  My bum knee, twisted somehow a couple of weeks ago, is getting a little better with cold packs.  I need to work on strengthening it again.  All-in-all, I sometimes feel like I am just falling apart.  Too quickly too.

My problem partly is that I don’t realize how much stress I have placed on various parts of my aging body until it is too late; the damage has been done.  The Danger of Overexertion is one of the dangers of retirement that I have written about previously. I have to learn to take it more slowly, test my limits first, gradually build up activity until the damage is properly healed.  That’s another discovery: healing takes longer as we get older. 

This getting older is tough; it’s not for the young.